Jokes

Decaffeinated TEA - pft imagine

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You know you’re old when you start to bogeyman health symptoms

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I don’t drink not because I drank too much one time but because i learned I had.

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I love the formula of what’s worse than finding ___ ? finding half of one

Worm in your apple
…
Man in bed with your wife

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I was at a blood clinic to get my sons blood drawn

• lottery ticket - "no you really should"
• The drive in her eyes to win!

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I want to do standup because I need social interaction but I need all the attention and approval and I need the celebration

• rewrite a few times
• Can you tell I’m a middle child?